One week in

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Well. I had a nice, juicy, yawn-achingly long post ready to go, and it appears that it’s been eaten by my phone. So it looks like you’ll be spared!

Today we leave Beijing by train to Lhasa, Tibet, exactly a week after we got here. While we wait for our first western food since arriving (pizza!), I’ll fill you in on what’s been going on.

Firstly, you may have noticed we went a bit quiet after the first few days of blog-filled mayhem. I’d like to say this is because we’ve been so frantically busy checking out Beijing’s nightlife that we haven’t slept let alone found time to be online, but that’s not quite true. We have been busy though!

Basically, we forgot the first rule of ‘net travelling: the more expensive your accommodation, the worse the Internet. First hostel – cheap, six bed dorm, great, free wifi. Second hostel (from where I now write this) – bit more lively, but Internet unusable at night. And the hotel where our tour is putting us up? No wifi at all. Which prompted a dash to Starbucks yesterday, only to find (after a frapuccino and scone later) that wifi is only for Chinese nationals. So we’re back in the cafe of the lovely Happy Dragon.

Right. So where have we been?

Temple of Heaven. Big park, with temples, and open air place for ritual worship during the winter solstice. All lovely, including a ‘9 dragon tree’, where we counted at least 15 (but
9 is a lucky number here). But the park’s weird. Some very old (2000 years apparently) Cyprus trees, and then acres of others – but everything was lined up. Having paths in a pattern makes sense, but trying to make nature conform is just odd. It’s as if the Forestry Commission took inspiration from here for their acres of pines blotting out the sky.

On the upside, we found two Geocaches, and weren’t arrested! There was a minor incident involving a spider’s web and me squealing like a pig, but I won’t go into that…

The following day, the Summer Palace. Before I go any further, I need to introduce a new term we’ve coined : Peking size (hereafter PS). This is colossal – and applies to the roads, the size of city blocks, Tienanmen Square, and the Summer Palace. Thankfully, in contrast to the USA it does not apply to the people or the food, which remain manageable!

So, the Summer Palace is a PS park for emperors to escape the heat (and smog) of the city, filled with, well, palaces. Lovely hill, great view over the (yes) PS lake – which trivia rules dictate that I must tell you was expanded by 100,000 peasants (read slaves) working for the emperor. And in an attempt at history, a summary of the not-exactly-well-written signs outside the plethora of buildings : basically, it was all built for Empress Cixi (who it turns out was pretty unpleasant), before the Anglo-French allies burnt it all down in retribution in 1860. The Chinese then cleaned it up to it’s former glory, only for the same thing to happen again at the turn of the century. The delights of cultural destruction in the name of power. Not a proud moment to be a Brit! Anyway, it looks great now, and a lovely afternoon was spent there, albeit with us unable to hire a pedalo. Highly recommended.

Oh yes, I said this would be shorter than the post I lost…

On Sunday, we really pushed the boat out and decided to attempt the death-defying feat of TWO ATTRACTIONS IN ONE DAY! Yes, we’re pleased with ourselves.

Now, there’s something you need to know about Laura. I myself hadn’t realised before we went away (and she claims, neither did she) – but she’s addicted. To bells. And so the Bell Temple seemed a pretty good bet. I have to admit, it was pretty darn good too. If I was feeling bold, I’d say it really chimed with us both.

Anyway, witticisms aside, it was great – with the central feature being the Largest Bell In The World – a PS two story bell weighing 46 tonnes, with the sound said to carry 40km. For some reason they wouldn’t let us ring it though! Lovely museum, really struck a note. (ok, no more)

Bell Temple complete, next stop, Olympic Park. Needless to say PS – the LOCOG/ODA folks preparing London will have their work cut out in producing something comparable. We went for a quick trip around the Birds Nest Stadium, which was magnificent – we even made it up to (breathless) seats right at the top. The only pity was that Laura and I couldn’t hold our much-planned 400m race to prove for once and for all who’s the better. It turns out that the track was only for use by those who’d hired Segways to do laps. Very odd!

Sunday night we joined our tour group – a bunch of folks of our age and older, and from various places worldwide – England, Norway, Germany, Switzerland, Canada, USA. Seem like a fun bunch, we’ll see how it goes!

Anyway, we’ve spent the past two days with them seeing the Beijing highlights – Great Wall, tick (and very sweaty too); Fake goods market, tick; Acrobatics, tick; Forbidden city, oh yes! All great, and deserving of a writeup another time.

At 7:15, we start our 46 hour journey west, on the sleeper to Lhasa – we’re now off to buy bread and wave goodbye to Beijing. We’ve been warned that laundry (and hence we’re inferring, Internet) is sporadic until we get to Katmandu – so if you don’t from us for a while, that may be the reason why. Or we’ve been got by the Yeti.

Bye!
Simon

Bare-bottomed babies of Beijing

Following on from Simon’s ‘bellies on show’ post I thought it only right to bring to your attention the phenomenon of Beijing’s bare-bottomed babies. It would appear that about 3/4 of the parents in Beijing have decided that rather than cladding their babies’ backsides in nappies it is better to either leave the lower-half naked or to dress their babies in bottomless trousers. While this might be cooler in the heat of the city, when you’re standing next to a dad holding his baby on the metro you really hope that it doesn’t have an ‘accident’. Admittedly we haven’t witnessed any such incidents so far, maybe they just toilet train their children at a very early age?

Laura

Further notes on beating Beijing’s public transport

Once you have bought a new can of deodorant to replace that which was confiscated on an earlier metro journey you may again face ejection from a station when your bag is scanned. If this happens cross over the road to the other metro entrance where the security people will not recognise you, place the offending item in your pocket, and walk through security with a big smile on your face.

We’re not sure the same techniques will work in Tiananmen Square though, caution is advised for future travellers!

Laura

Beating Beijing’s public transport – update

A small addendum to yesterday’s travel advice from Laura…

Do not carry anything that might even be imagined to be suspicious on the subway. Or at least not if you lack the Mandarin to understand what’s being challenged and why!

Having successfully navigated the security for the past few days, we were slightly bemused when my bag was stopped in the x-ray check. (Yes, each station x-rays all luggage – an Olympics hangover? Is this coming to London?) This was followed by a comedy routine in which an item in my bag was taken out and waved around by me. Water bottle? No, smaller. Tube of glue? Nope, something else. Frisbee? Squarer…

Anyway – one of the attendants insisted we leave the station immediately: ‘take a taxi!’, another was asking that the bag be re-scanned, and the third pointed dramatically at my can of deodorant, and the flammable icon on the side.

Now, this wasn’t what the Lynx effect adverts told me expect (ok, and it wasn’t Lynx, in case you think I’ve totally lost my mind)! We were warned that we might have to sip our water to prove it wasn’t liquid explosive; I wasn’t going go do the same here!

I’m sure that the equally flammable lighters folks carry in their pockets are handled with just the same caution, which might be quite a good way of dealing with the endemic smoking problem here! I can’t quite imagine how ridiculous (let alone pungent) it would be if you couldn’t take deodorant on the tube in London.

Anyway, perhaps I’d better look up the Mandarin for “I’m going to smell really bad if you do that” for the next bout…

Simon

PS. Laura’s prioritised a trip to the nearest pharmacy for first thing tomorrow…

PPS. Simon has omitted the part when he spread his arms in a child’s impression of an aeroplane to explain that they didn’t care about him taking the deodorant on a plane :p Laura

The Big Move

Greetings!

Since we’re no longer going to Xi’an and it’s poxy porcelain army*, we needed somewhere to stay tonight in Beijing. Our room in the hostel was full, we had to move. 7 metres. This morning we made an epic journey across the courtyard and are now living in the lap of luxury! A twin room, and en-suite. We’re chuffed. But just for the night, as tomorrow we’re properly moving to a cheaper place elsewhere in the city.

Today we became experts at the train system (see the soon-to-be-in-print Butler Guide to Transport), attempted geocaching, saw Tianamen Square up close, and I nearly lost my wallet. We’re professionals at this travelling malarky, I swear!

Geocaching is hard when you don’t want to look like a spy and there are people about. Our first attempt today was thwarted by an elderly dog walker who seemed determined to defend the target lamppost from revealing any secrets. We attempted to find various activities that would permit us to stand by said lamppost and find the cache, but I ran out of things to throw in the bin, and the man looked ever more suspiciously. Another day! The National Centre for Performing Arts looks fun from the outside though. When she becomes emperor, Laura’s going see it replaces the Millennium Dome.

Tianamen is a colossal set of paving slabs (440,000 square metres), filled with security cameras, lampposts with security cameras, police (some secret, although who knows, since they’re invisible), a monument and flag, two huge tv screens (the world cup would have been immense, except I think they’re probably just used for state information), and no benches or wildlife of any kind. Well, there were a few thousand people, but certainly nothing ferrel. We watched some soldiers goose-step precisely and take down a flag, and then march on back. The Grand Old Duke of York comes to mind…

I nearly managed to truly cast aside capitalism today and lose my wallet. Those that know me will realise that this will not be the last such occasion! Fortunately this attempt was unsuccessful – a diligent cashier at our lunch place had spotted it and kept it aside, and Laura did a brilliant job at preventing panic from taking hold.

Oh yes, and after being thrown out of Tianamen by the police (it was mutual, we all wanted to go home), we scrambled to another street food street (well, it wasn’t a road) for meat-on-a-stick and other delights. Cue more crazy insect pointing (only this time they were still wiggling on the sticks) – and our first ‘we’ve been ripped off’ altercation with a local. Our 10 minute protest successfully prevented him from getting other customers, but unfortunately didn’t net us our money back. A shocking £3! Which in the scheme of things isn’t really the end of anything, let alone the world. We’ll hold off summoning the ambassador for now.

However, Laura’s now delegated all street food purchasing to me, so she’ll be the one trying all manner of daring delights from now on! We’ll have to see about that!

Photos to follow soon.

Simon

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*may be incorrect.